How to Achieve Enlightenment

After running a seemingly endless series of races with Ben in the park, I suggested we do a “meditation race.” I said, “We meditate, and whoever reaches enlightenment first, wins.”

I was joking. All I wanted was to take a little break. But he said, “OK — how do we do that?” So I attempted to tell him something about meditation.

“Um,” I said, “you close your eyes and try not to think about anything. When a thought comes, you don’t force it out. You just let it pass through. And try to empty your mind again.”

“So how do you reach enlightenment?” (He wanted to know how to win.)

“Well, but you can’t be thinking about the goal while you’re doing it, because then you’re thinking about something. You can’t be trying to reach enlightenment or else you won’t reach it.”

“I know,” he said, “but I just need to know what it is so I know if it happens.”

Oh boy. Now I have to say what enlightenment is? “Well, um, it’s sort of a mystery. Because, like, the reason you don’t want to think about anything is because thoughts are all sort of related to wanting — thinking about things you want to have, or things you want to happen.”

He nodded in agreement. Thoughts are about wanting.

“But, like, when you want something, either you don’t get what you want, or you do but it isn’t what you expected, or it is but you’re not satisfied, or you are for a while but it doesn’t last. So, um, all wanting leads to disappointment.”

Too heavy? But he nodded again, following perfectly.

“So, uh, I think enlightenment is when you don’t want anything — don’t need anything to make you happy — and you just discover your own pure happiness inside yourself. And so if you can clear your mind then maybe you can find that pure happiness. But if you’re wanting it, then you’re wanting something so you won’t get it. It’s sort of like a logic problem, or an Abbott and Costello routine. You have to try without trying, or want it without wanting.”

“OK,” he said, smiling, getting it. “So you meditate. And as soon as you reach enlightenment, you say, ‘I win!’ — and then you lose.”

“Exactly.”

So we closed our eyes and we meditated. I have never been good at meditation. Mind too busy all the time. But there was a cool breeze and I felt relaxed and I just sat with this moment, not thinking very much. We sat together quietly for a minute or two.

Then he said, “I win!” We smiled and I congratulated him. I told him I’m not that good at meditating. “Me neither,” he said. “I only stopped thinking for like two seconds.”